i'm not your star

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 02:00:10 GMT

i pity you if you still read this and havent found me on myspace.

but if you still stalk me here, i would just like to share that I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. chris kanning. <3
the end.

HOTEL PARTY!

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 17:18:43 GMT

so. hotel party begins. we finally all get to the courtyard marriot and its like pouring. so walking in the rain ruined any effort i had made to try and look nice. oh well. so we get in and all...13 of us pack into the elevator and "break it" so we run up the stairs making way too much noise...and blah blah blah, finally we're in. so the party starts with ali & laken & sean and crew's FABULOUS birthday gift--a bottle of bacardi O. haha. so they started playing some card game...electricity? maybe. and me and pat go down to wait for chris to come. that was an adventure, but thats irrelevent. we were gone for 20 minutes and by the time we got back...everyone was Trashed. it was awesome lol. so i got my rum from chris and between that and the bacardi i was pretty gone. the rest i dont remember ALL that well, but it was really really good times.
i was in chris's car for a good two hours and when i came back i had a conversation with brian that i really cant recall and then i passed out with craig in the bed. and then max wound up on my other side sometime during the night. details arnt important i guess lol. the end.

i have to say that one of the highlights was this morning waking up and finding out that kevin gave max two shots and max disnt know what they were but he drank them anyway....and it was fuckin kevins piss!!!!
gross.

then we had to clean the room. wow. sooo much beer. soo many cards. sooo dirty. that was fun.

so thats my life

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 03:40:30 GMT

work tonight. i'll keep the silvana talk short. marinara sauce? Not spelled "mariana" okay? cool. number two...please dont Ever come up to me again and say "my crotch itches." and Definitely don't begin to itch it in front of me. thats just gross. got it? awesome.

anyway, MY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY is this saturday!!!!
this weekend should be Kick ass. going to chris' friends house tomorrow. that should be good times. and then Saturday night it goes downnnnnn... ahhhhhh should be amazing. cant wait.

this weekend needs to be unforgetable.

its on.

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 03:05:21 GMT

so i worked tonight. and that means its time for my weekly tribute to SILVANA.

first, lets start off with your singing. yea...ok that needs to stop. you suck. and when some lady picking up food says to you "sing it girl!" it is Not your cue to sing at the top of your lungs like you wrote the song. news flash: she was making fun of you. you're terrible.

moving on. i think its necessary that someone teaches you manners, because apparantly no on ever did. its not that polite to shout "they fucking left me shit" when your customers are still in the restaurant. its not nice. acutally, ITS REALLY FUCKING RUDE!

and yeah, lets talk about that full glass of water you spilled on me. when you saw it fall directly on to my pants, and asked if i got wet and i smiled and said no...i was lying. i just did Not want you to touch me.
but whatever, its water, im over it.

also, tonight when you saw me take out a pack of gum and stick a piece in my mouth and asked.."is that gum?" i really should have said..no silvana, im acutally just chewing on my own teeth. because you are Really fucking stupid.

and once again, i Do not care about what you had for lunch, how much you love your dog, or how some woman hit on your horrifically unfortunate looking husband. i do not give a damn about your life, because yes, you SUCK.

that is all.

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 00:39:48 GMT

You Know You're From Westchester When...

You go to a Dave Matthews Band concert and end up running into people you know from your school.

Half the people in your school mysteriously develop inner-Queens accents during 7th and 8th grade.

Starbucks is a regular stop for you.

You say Abercrombie & Fitch makes you want to puke, yet you sport at least one outfit from the store each week

NYU is your top choice for college.

If you go to Catholic school, you know everyone at all the Catholic schools in Westchester.

If you go to public school you still manage to know everyone at all the Catholic schools in Westchester.

Below 1400 is a "so-so" SAT score

You claim to hate your school, but you go to all the dances and play at least one varsity sport anyway.

Even though your best friend lives a stone's throw away, you have most of your conversations with him/her on AOL or AIM.

You know you have to act tough when going to The Galleria, or else you might get shot.

You know you have to act sophisticated when you go to The Westchester, or else you'll get kicked out.

Your summer vacation is most likely one of the following: LBI, Cape May, Wildwood, Seaside Heights, or, more simply "The Jersey Shore."

You know someone who knows the girl who starred in "The Blair Witch Project."

Your dad works in an office and wears a suit and tie to work every day.

Your mom either works part-time or volunteers, but whatever she does, it's enough to hold a 24-hour a day guilt-trip over you.

If you don't drive, the Metro North train is your best friend, assuming, of course, you're able to avoid the ticket-collector.

A trip into NYC for a day is your idea of "getting away from it all."

It pisses you off that your friends from the Bronx call this area "upstate New York."

You've met Vanessa Williams at least once.

You complain that the Jefferson Valley Mall is trash, but you find yourself hanging out there every weekend anyway.

You think anyone who lives south of New Jersey is a hick.

Everyone winds up spending Spring Break in the Hamptons.

The students in your school drive nicer cars than the teachers.

Your sixteenth birthday present: Jeep, or your mom's old BMW

Your mother went to a great college, and now does nothing

You say that you are "just outside the city" regardless of where you live

Unlike every other area in the New York Metro area, you believe that people from Westchester, "really don't have accents."

Somebody had to teach you to do your laundry when you went away to college

You consider anything North of White Plains, "Upstate"

Your family belongs to a health club, a golf club, and/or a beach club

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Westchester.

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 14:38:33 GMT

goodbye full bottle of vodka.
its been fun.

so...what concert was i at last night? hah. wow. last night = a mess. but, a good mess. SOOO traaaashed. omg. so the night starts as we get on the train after like an hour delay and i see the wonderful mrs dougherty. awkward. im like hey no im not carrying a bag full of vodka, no worries. we also see gene. but he becomes important later on in this story. so, we get to grand central, meet up with sean, ali, laken, etc, and start walking to roseland. and we start drinking. note to self, im not a big fan of peach vodka. so at some random mcdonalds we split up and sean & crew go get beer and we go to mcdonalds, mix our drinks, and down them. meet up with sean & crew again, start walking again, finish everything in the water bottles, and oops im already GONE. so the rest of the night is pretty much a blur..

but um, can we talk about how i made like everyone kiss me on the lips?? why?? "and induction to be my best friend" wtf! or how about how i tried to crowd surf with cornelia. ..um, who are you? i managed to wind up lost by myself at some part of the night of course, in which i dumped everything out of my pockets looking for our coat check ticket and i probably lost a lot of shit, like my earrings. i dont see why though, i mean i so gracefully crawled all over the floor making sure i had everything. thaaaat musta looked hott. i rocked out hardcore with some girls i dont really know...i think. and omg, pats friend...daniel? maybe? im really sorry. for hitting on you so badly. weird. yeah and then outside, there were allll these cops around, and i repeatedly was blabbing "ive never been so drunk around cops" and such and thank God i can control the volume of my voice...except that, no, i can not.

oh and then lets talk about the hooka bar? smoka? whatta? something we were supposed to go to after. something about tobacco. we didnt tho. we got some cabs to grand central. and somewhere in there i lost all my money. damn. and, yeah i dont know, theres just so much i don't remember. like...the whole, band part. i distinctly remember almost at the end of the concert..like yellowcards last song maybe...saying "did the starting line play yet?" like...WHERE was i???

so then on the train, my feet got like really aquainted with seans nuts. i...made a fool of myself talking to amandas friend adam..or george. what? im really sorry amanda lol. tell him i dont think he sells drugs. oh and then gene calls katherine and tells her they hooked up? which didnt happen. but apparantly joanie called me and katherine from genes phone? randomness wow. then we went to the diner after. those poor diner people. but turkey club u rocked my fucking world.

goodtimes this morning. katherine recalling puking in the mens bathroom. and craig and pat walking in as shes walking out. then almost getting like abductd by a fat black lady? hah, im sorry, i love you babe. and your description of me attacking sean on the train..."all of a sudden i see little jenna like jump on sean..." hah i so dont even remember that. joanie recalling her interaction with gene, and also almost getting kicked out. nice one. you girls are great.

oh and then lets not forget at like midnight i remembered i was supposed to call my parents n tell them i was on my way home so thers this awesome message on my answering machine being like HEYYYY MOM ummm i think im bout to get on the train so ill be home soon I LOVE U goodnite. totally slurred and i hiccup like every other word cuz i had the hiccups like crazzzy. so thats fabulous.

ummmmm yeah. so theres a beer can sitting on my dresser that was most definitely not here last night andddd im concerned. thisss doesnt look good.

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 02:39:11 GMT

hello dedicated readers. aka stalkers. :P
thank you for giving me a reason to write.

so tonight i had work. fabulous. this guy came in and starting being like overly friendly with me...he kept asking about my job and telling me about the bars he used to go to. i was like um your definitely mexican and you kinda smell bad and im 16 years old, can this conversation be over?

oh and silvana. can i just tell you that i dont give a shit about your period, when it comes, or your symptons. im not looking at the zit on your chin, i dont care about your husband, and i Definitely dont wanna hear about your stomach problems anymore. thank you. oh and also, nice job on scarfing down that entire chicken parm dinner in .5 seconds tonite. good job fatty.
p.s. can you Ever let me get One word in?? EVER??

so i just made work sound really terrible, which it wasnt. i made decent money tonite, 68 dollars to be exact.

damnit im tired.

and this week has sucked. i cried in school today. im so awesome. work, school, college, boys, everything just got to me.

maybe the rest of this week will go more smoothly.
picking up the alc tomorrow for the concert on friday. woo.
oh but how could i forget, saturdays gonna Suuuck.

note to self: christmas would be such a better season if i had a boyfriend.

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 19:32:01 GMT

update. woooo.

i cant really think of much that happened this week, except for Thursday which was super fun. me liz and merynda went on a 3 hour shopping trip to...A.C. "Smores", partycity, kaybee toys, marshalls, rojay party, omg and i cant even remember where else. we finalllly got all the necessary items for our hot ass sailor costumes. then i went out to dinner with the fam and auntie marriieeee to santa fe for my moms bday. Fun times :)
yeah so then the next day we dressed up and it was awesome. mr aliberti laughed at me! :( oh well. ill put pics up evenutally.

umm not much else to say. oh today i went to applebees and met chris. what the r fucking odds that joanie and tori would be sitting there Right next to us. Random/awkward/embarassing. wow. oh well. chris is hott. :)

okay im gonna sit here until i get ready for work...woooo

what should i do for my birthday???

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 13:39:01 GMT

so, i had the bright idea of acutally letting people drink at my house last nite. Even though i knew my parents wouldnt be out that late. So, 2 shots of gin and a 32 of smirnoff later (hey i didnt eat all day), i lost track of time. and the rents came home. and walked into my laundry room and saw a 30 of beer. so i had a nervous breakdown and tried to convince them that i wasnt drinking and that i had no idea people were gonna bring beer. yadda yadda. so im in my garage telling my dad im dead sober and i turned around to leave and i walk into a wall. WELL that got me more upset because i thought i fucked myself over sooo bad, so i went in and HYSTERICALLY CRIED into max's shirt. holy shit i was a Disaster. so i told everyone they should leave and

yadda yadda spread some jenna germs yadda yadda

everyone evenutally left. so i got barely any sleep last nite because i was freaking out about the lecture i was gonna get today...and so i wake up at like 8 and im still drunk. oh i forgot this part...i typed a letter last nite before i went to bed apologizing to my parents. my typing in it is excellent. anyway so my mom comes into my room at like 8 and im like here it comes...and shes like jenna we dont care. we're totally not mad at you at all. she was like we were probably just a drunk as you last night bla bla bla, ha which i thought was funny. and then she was like id rather you be in a house then drinking in a car. anyways, turns out she was like fine with it. she was like im not condoning it, so dont make it a habit, but im not mad. and then we sat in the kitchen and tried to deal with our hangovers together. how ironic.

"oh what a night"

oh, and DAMIT. i want a do over.

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 02:21:54 GMT

im a disaster.

tonight was pretty awful. today had the potential of being really awesome.
but it wasnt.

tonight i started hysterically crying in the shower.
theres just some things that mean more to you than anything.
and theres just some things that will never work.
and theres just some things that could be so right.
but theres just some things that will just always be wrong.

and theres just some things that you will Always regret.

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 23:29:02 GMT

so i hurt my arm at swimming today. i have no idea how. but all i know is that i can move it around and its fine, except i can NOT stroke with it. its like this horrible pain. its also really hard to get dressed. SUCKS!!

so then i came home and ive been eating ever since. im like on an eating binge. its bad. i really dont wanna be fat. i dont know what to do.

its a month til my birthday! wooo!!!!

why is everyone leaving this weekend!? what the fuck.

so...yellowcard/tsl concert november 5th...whos comin??

i ate too much. feel like shit.

what can i be for halloween?
leave ideas.

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 02:04:23 GMT

yo, college shit is stressing me the FUCK OUT! omg.

ok moving on, today was senior 1/3 cut day!! yay!! well, for me meg kim and merynda it was atleast. we cut 3 periods and went to pizza hut. it was awesome. our waitress was either just slow or retarded, but it doesnt matter.
go look, http://www.dotphoto.com/GuestViewAlbum.asp?AID=1875120&Page=1
we look so fucking amazingly hot. O WOW.

so anyway, i changed my room today! well sorta..not really..eh, see if u notice.

oh yeah, apologies for the last entry. im a mess. dont hate.

back to stress.

this better be a good weekend.

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 02:40:32 GMT

i got drunk tonite.l im gonna look exefcellent in my sr pics tomorrow. gay.

when im drunk i get emotional. icve cried before about no gys wanting ot hook up with me, ive cried about being ugly..or fat.

but ive never cried about being too late. until tonoight. tonight i amf crying about beign too late. im too late adn i cant change that now. im not witing anymore

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 01:42:10 GMT

yet another night of rejection from mr "jake ryan" himself. no thats a lie...he just doesnt know i exist..anymore. thats not rejection. thats..i dont know. that sucks. oh well. moving on to the new obsession --> new hot neighbor.

i looked like shit tonite. and i know thats true because RUFFINO (my favorite chef) told me i looked tired. which = you look like shit. oh speaking of ruffino, i think its time for me to get a boyfriend. or a fake boyfriend. because even though hes like double my age and i think he knows that and is just like a dad or something..i'm a liiiiiittle nervous about how he treats me. its like really sweet..to a point. idk. so someone come in and pretend to be my boyfriend, kay? end of story.

so lately my life has pretty much been waitressing, swimming, or doing college stuff. plus a little homework. and i'm really not enjoying life like this. i need a kickass weekend. real soon.

arrright well im gonna go get on with my life.

keeeep leavin em'

::EDIT::

hottest sport ever. c'mon...could we LOOK ANY WORSE?

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 01:05:46 GMT

ok so here it is,

if i don't have atleast three comments in here by tomorrow, i'm not writing anymore. its too boring. its like im typing my life down for myself lol..i write, and then i read. and then i read it again. and nothing changes. which is really really gay.

so there you have it. comment or, goodbye.

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 04:48:10 GMT

so this weekend Sucked. i did Nothinggggg. SATS, work, yeah thats it. i went out to lunch with amanda today. and hung out at craigs after. where i pretty much got RAPED by otto. EWWW. fucking craig took chicken and held it over me so otto like attacked me. so after i was already thoroughly traumatized by that, im leaning on pat and i glance at my shoulder to see a massive pile of dog drool. i literally starting squealing and screaming. it was AWFUL. then we watched mean girls. i <3 that movie.

i worked, and then wound up back at craigs tonite. we watched revenge of the nerds. awesome. and had a heart to heart with the boys about...well, blowjobs. which pretty much consisted of me blatanly refusing to answer any of their questions. "show us the motion!!" Riiiight.

best line, on my part, trying to say something completely different and "max, im gonna pull your dick out!! ..off! it off...what?!!?!" o god.

i hate this weekend.

Thu, 07 Oct 2004 01:53:28 GMT

so tonight my jake ryan came into the restaurant. i almost peed myself. really. but he didnt talk to me...no, he didnt even look at me. it was really sad :(

moving on. im soo stressed out with college stuff. + school. its hell!

i was so distracted tonight at work. no no no not over jake ryan, who cares. i just had stuff on my mind. sometimes its hard to not think about that stuff.

anyway, upcoming ish in my life=
swim meets out my ASS
shopping w/ amanda on friday! i miss her
work with jill sat, meg sunday
bar for joanies bday saturday nite???
cupcakes with meagan on sunday!
friday going to dinner with meagan
saturday senior pics..Again
the weekend after that brian comes home

thats about it for now. for events. i guess.

but let me just mention quickly about the 42 year old italian white trash lady i work with. Silvana. she has her own language, most of which is the words shit and fuck. but others are as follows:

september= SURtember
parmigian= parmiJOHN
appetizer= appENtizer
rigatoni= REKatoni
tarrytown=TERRYtown

yeah shes awesome. effin trashhhh.

Done.

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 05:19:33 GMT

fuclng yeha. ive made a plan that im gonna ge tdrunk at lets one nightg ever y weekend. so this is mgy night of this weekend htat im getiting drunk! yea in ive kept it storng for like thie 3rd week! FEAK yeah!
nice.,
ok soooo tonite i worked n then waent to joe prados with liek 3249 ppl and then we left and drove n peed n went o lindas with 38293894 ppl plus more and i had fun and sll that hjunk.

ummm yeah so theres so mch stuff i wanna write in here taht i camnt/ it makesme sad/
too mayn drunk idals tonite.
PEAC EOUT!

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 20:17:11 GMT

so i guess i should update, right? instead of doing homework? Yep.

okay so friday we went to maggies, me craig rob maggie and pat. nothing too crazy.

than last night was joanies house. oh boy. miraculously, i was allowed to sleep over. so fuck yeah did i get my drink on. a lot of random people were there. mostly tus, katherine kristy bea tracy and micaela. they are fuckin awesome girls. soo much fun. so basically the night consisted of me drinking a lot of joanies parents liquor and acting really really dumb. did a few drunk dials. made a call to brian. max got all concerned and took my phone and we got into like a vicious fight. then i called him a fucking jewbag, and that was that. he left. the best was the diner though. me bea micaela and katherine went. and i talked to tom carter in the parking lot. what? yeah some stupid things were said im sure, i dont even remember. the diner was awesome. i distinctly remember eating grilled cheese with my eyes closed. i just dont know. and katherine stuffed my bag with sugar and sweet & low. what a badass. when we got back joanie was passed out and somehow i wound up outside with bea maybe? smoking. yeah..weird. then maggie came over and we had our second heart to heart of the night. and than apparantly tracy lewis got sick all over joanies house. that was really pretty in the morning, haha. and then basically i slept and got up the next morning and went home. it was actually really awesome. what a night.

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 02:56:38 GMT

so let me update you. okay so yesterday i went up to sacred heart to visit allie. that was Fun Times. we went to this bar called john adams, like her whole floor went and a whole bunch of guys from this other dorm. i had this Horrendously chalked id and somehow i got in. i really have no idea how. its acutally pretty funny. oh, p.s. the id wasnt even mine. so its some girl with blue eyes that i dont look like..chalked. beautiful. anyway i got in and had a fuckin party. i got so trashed. i wont list all the damn drinks but between pregaming, and spending like 50 bucks, i had the equivelent of oh say about 10 shots. 11 maybe. which for someone with my tolerance, means i should be dead. but oh well, i survived and i had so much fun. i met a bazillion and two people. and wound up in a cab with like 4 guys i didnt know, going back to the dorm. hung out back there for a while having really incoherent conversations. after me and allie went back and slept in her "boyfriends" dorm. so i slept with this kid mike. think shorter look-a-like of seth green. way shorter..way less cute. damn what alcohol does to your brain. no but i was a good girl. no worries. i swear.

classic moment of last night: not being coherent enough to know what to do when the guitarist of the band playing at john adams took my hand and tried to get me to play his guitar during their show while he was all up in my grill

classic moment of today: walking back to west hall in a strangers boxers and tshirt and stilettos.--oh and today was open house. so add a billion parents and potential students to that. i officially looked like a prostitute.

than today sucked. keith is in hawthorne. i didnt see him though. no worries. hes a jerk. times two. so over that.

brian comes home tomorrow for a day. he told me he'd come and see me. but i was drunk..and he might have been too. i guess we'll see what happens.
that would make my day.

okay so thats my life. i know, it's hard not to be jealous.
the end.

comments...

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 02:40:31 GMT

Taking steps back through the words I should have said to you
they all got lost
you went away
well i feel sick
and you just don't care anymore
you're gone

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 05:14:45 GMT

joanie: omg hell balls

i did something stupid today. i think. i'm not really sure. maybe i did something that i needed to do. maybe. but i still feel pretty stupid. stupid and unsure. but somewhat proud...of myself i guess. is proud the right word? but definitely not fulfilled. not complete. no, no way. i do have balls tho, i do. thats about all though. Fabulous.

and what better to clear up confusion than...bowling with patrick and craig? yep. craig paid for me. what a good boyfriend. and the three of us talked about so much stuff. it was really really good times. i liked tonight.

life is totally not cool. definitely not.

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 02:59:17 GMT

so just to finish out this fanfuckingtastic summer, i stayed home. which was a perfect ending to 2 months of sitting home Most nights. i don't even wanna talk about why i didnt go out tonite, but people are just really big faggots when it comes to plans. and everyone is kinda way to caught up with themselves. so i really hate this town, and theres nothing else for me to look forward to but to finish senior year and get the hell out of this place. this year isnt gonna be the party everyone makes it out to be, and im not excited for it at all. all i wanna do is get far far away. and as for next summer, i don't want to be in this town. but there's one reason thats tugging at my heart to stay though, and it's got me all messed up now. and i know next summer is a while away but the decision to be at the shore all next year or to stay in hawthorne is a big one. it means money and job decisions, etc etc, and i really need to work on finding out if this reason is worth sticking around next summer. are you lost yet? probably. i know i'm babbling but i have to get some of this out, somehow.

why does everything happen at the wrong time?

Confused.

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 03:16:07 GMT

picture update! what could be more fun than updating this thing at 11 at night. wooooo...

this is kevin and brian. on a tire swing. because our friends are cool enough to hang out at places like..the lake..and of course, the park.
i love you guys

this is max kevin and brian. how cute.

this is joanie and me. in joanies words "we look so hard. i'm kinda scared" yeah it doesn't get much more hardcore than that. what now bitches?

this is craig, in my skirt, and brian feeling his boobies. totally normal.

craig, and me. in the tock's van. awesome.
joanie and me in the tock's van. <3 her.

this is classic. craig and kevin's butts. don't look too closely at kevin's...

this is half of me and kevin's heads. expert photography right here kids.

me and brian. i look dumb ugly, but look how hott brian looks in those shades. and at night nonetheless. it so makes up for it. i love him.

and this is tori's pic. but i think its so funny how brian's clearly about to eat my boobs. but look, he holds my hand while doing so, so its all good. cute.

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 02:06:47 GMT

no more of that friends only ish. i'll write what i want and if you don't like it, go away. k cool. so i haven't updated this thing in a Long time. there's really nothing too cool to recap for you. i've been working a lot and stuff, ok where am i going with this... um i went to woodloch, that was okay. a while back i went to ob2 with allie, that was fun. i went to nyc with amanda. met emin there. cool stuff. i guess the only really major thing that has happened is that brian left for college. and i guess i never realized just how much that kid meant to me. or how much a part of my life he was. the way i miss him is unreal. and he can probably prove that through the tears i left on his shirt. it's just like so unbelievably different without him, and theres just so many little things i'm gonna miss. and maybe someone needs to punch me in the face because i'm acting like the kid is dead, but the thought of him just having this whole new life in college without us, is sad.. and totally selfish, but i'm just not used to it yet. the fact that i can't see him whenever i want is nothing i ever thought about. and now i can't, and i just wish summer would never end. okay that's the end of my deep thoughts. sorry for the rambling.

so no one called tonight, for a change, so i ate a pint of ice cream. really, this is just the life. i hate being me.
sorry this wasn't a fun entry kiddos, peace out.

and i'll leave you with,

ah, the memories.

oh yeah, comment. thanks.